In the back seat

I've been going to the capital of Malaysia, Kuala Lumpur, on a regular basis, due to frequent project meetings. It's a short flight and a long taxi journey to the hotel. The other day I was looking around the taxi and it had a few stickers.
One said: "No food". Ok, fair enough, I thought. People could make a mess out of this back seat with a cup of noodles.
Another sticker said: "No smoking". Damn right! This cab is right up my alley. Nice clean environment and only the possible smell of curry if he's from India.

The last sticker said: "No kissing". Now HANG ON! What the fuck?! Kissing should be specified in the human rights declaration as beings in a first class along with breathing, freedom, krispy kreme donuts and clean underwear. It's an absolute primary need, and who's that cab driver to tell me otherwise?!
Lucky for him I was riding with my very cool but definitely unappealing colleague Chris Khoo. Had it been my lady and he'd see more tongue than a Rolling Stones audience.