Ema sent me this one recently. Its so good it deserves gummavitta honours! :)

In one episode of 'Cheers', Cliff is seated at the bar describing the Buffalo Theory to his buddy, Norm.

'Well you see, Norm, it's like this . . . A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. When the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.

In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. And that, Norm, is why you always feel smarter after a few beers.'

Classic!

Wher'a'ya from?

I've been asked where I'm from so many times already, it's starting to get boring.
So, in order to manage tedium, I thought of changing my answers.
Initially, I would say: I'm from Portugal. My mind however soon started to wonder off, and I found myself coming up with stuff like this:

I'm from Portugal. Just south of Mexico. (keeping a straight face)
I'm from Sweden, but I don't like yellow.
I come from the Easter Island. Its a bit boring there. We never get Christmas, only chocolate eggs.
I'm from Western Sahara. We've been sort of invaded by the Moroccan, but take great pride in our dunes.
I come from Ecuador. It's a very slim country that circles the earth, although some maps place us in South America. We don't like taking sides as well.
I come from Tanzania. I was running from a Rhino and just kept going.
I was born in international waters.
I'm from the Grand Duchy of Portugal. We're a tiny enclave sitting between France and Germany. Terrible neighbourhood.
I come from Kabul. (usually everybody leaves in a rush when I use this one).
I'm from Egypt. Been looking for a pyramid with an en suite, but all I can find is gay room share.
I'm from London. It's the planet furthest away from the sun.

But in the end, I'm nothing but a proud Pork'and'Cheese!

G'day mate!

I'm in Australia.
I'm here to stay. Well, to stay for a while, that is. The bags are in the closet and I have flip flops under the bed. Anchor is down and I've settled. (or as close to settling as you can without having a house, a bank account, a phone or a decent night's sleep).

Looking back, I can't trace the first moment I thought of this, which means its been a desire of mine for a long time.
I came for the experience. A new street, a new office, a new supermarket, a new bus, a new friend, a new city, a new culture, a new trip, a new beer, a new band, a new road, a new country, a new continent, a new hemisphere.
Touch down!

Prior to my departure from the BM London office, I was the subject of one of the most wonderful surprises of my life. Colleagues from the present and the past of the company, along with some other friends and some of their friends joined forces to organize a secret picnic party at Regents Park, London. Australia was the theme. I was kept in the dark and when I got there and realised all the effort and care behind that event, I felt profoundly touched.

My eternal thanks to the forces that organized, and the masses that have attended!
Its never easy to leave somewhere where you’re happy, and where people make you feel part of more than just yourself.
Obrigado.